Greg West Ruined My Life
An ongoing investigation into the allegations, questionable decisions and mounting evidence surrounding Greg West.
How Did We Get Here?
It started with a T-shirt.
For reasons that seemed funny at the time, Greg West's wife and daughter wore shirts proclaiming “Greg West Ruined My Life” to a comedy show. Naturally, this raised an important question:
Exactly how many lives HAS Greg West ruined?
We began documenting the evidence. Initially, the files consisted of suspicious incidents collected from more than 25 years of Greg operating Cornel's World, building reptile enclosures and helping run reptile expos.
Then something unexpected happened.
Actual people started coming forward with their own stories.
The Greg West Victim Files were officially open.
The Greg West Victim Files
The first ten files document previously known incidents and suspicious patterns of behaviour. Beginning with Case #011, you'll find actual victim statements submitted after this investigation became public.
The Innocent Reptile Purchase
“I bought one Cornel's World enclosure.”
Three years later, I had an entire reptile room, six thermostats, two racks, a freezer full of rodents and a monthly electricity bill I refuse to discuss with my spouse.
Greg West Ruined My Life.
It Started With One Question
“I asked Greg what reptile I should get.”
He said, “Depends what you like.” Unfortunately, that was the beginning of the end.
I now have 14 snakes, three geckos and two tortoises. Something in my basement also requires its own humidifier.
Greg West Ruined My Life.
“We're Just Going to Look”
“I went to the Western Canadian Reptile Expo just to look.”
I came home with two reptiles and $400 worth of supplies. Meanwhile, my child decided to become a herpetologist.
We used to go camping.
Greg West Ruined My Life.
The PVC Incident
“Greg said PVC reptile cages were easier to clean.”
Unfortunately, he was right. I replaced every enclosure I owned.
Then I bought more reptiles because I suddenly had room. I now need a bigger house.
Greg West Ruined My Life.
The Reptile Expo Encounter
“I met Greg at a reptile expo.”
At first, he seemed normal enough.
That's how he gets you.
Greg West Ruined My Life.
The Thermostat
“Greg convinced me to buy a proper reptile thermostat.”
Now I understand temperature gradients, proportional heating, basking temperatures and proper probe placement.
Ignorance was cheaper.
Greg West Ruined My Life.
The Google Search
“I Googled ‘Greg West Ruined My Life’ because I saw some idiot wearing this shirt.”
Now I'm on a reptile website trying to figure out who Greg West is and why apparently everyone hates him.
I've already wasted six minutes. I suppose I'm a victim now too.
Greg West Ruined My Life.
The Spouse Who Never Agreed to This
“My spouse bought one snake.”
Then they found Cornel's World. Apparently snakes need cages, cages stack and there is absolutely no reason an empty cage should remain empty.
I no longer know how many reptiles live in my house.
Greg West Ruined My Life.
Cornel's World White
“I ordered a white PVC cage from Cornel's World.”
Greg has a long and well-documented history of forgetting to write that particular detail on the work order.
This has happened enough times that staff and customers now have a name for it:
“Cornel's World White.”
It's black.
The Missing Expo Promoter
“Greg was supposed to open the doors for WCRE vendor setup.”
After pulling an all-nighter getting the expo ready, Greg promised his kids he'd take them swimming. He made it poolside and immediately fell asleep.
There was one minor problem:
He was also the guy who was supposed to open the doors for vendor setup.
For approximately 30 minutes, vendors were left asking:
“WHERE THE HELL IS GREG?”
EXHIBIT 10-A — SUSPECT LOCATED
Greg was eventually located. As you can see, he was very busy “lifeguarding.”
Greg West Ruined My Life.
The Taco Soup Incident
Greg apparently decided that recipes were more of a suggestion than a requirement.
The plan was taco soup. The problem was that Greg didn't actually have all the ingredients required to make taco soup.
This did not stop him.
Unfortunately for his son Carter, he was there to experience the results firsthand.
Years later, Greg's own assessment of the meal remains particularly damaging to the defence: it was actually terrible.
The footage provides a rare glimpse into the hardships Carter was forced to endure simply by being born into the West family.
Carter West: Victim since childhood.
Greg West Ruined My Life.
Has Greg West Ruined Your Life?
The investigation remains open, and we are accepting new victim statements.
Maybe Greg sold you a reptile enclosure and one somehow became twelve. Perhaps you went to WCRE “just to look.” You may have suffered emotional damage from his RBF. Or maybe your grievance has absolutely nothing to do with reptiles.
The more ridiculous the story, the better.
Email: [email protected]
Subject: Greg West Ruined My Life - Victim Submission
Selected submissions may be added to the official Victim Files. Photos and other questionable evidence are strongly encouraged.
You May Be Entitled to Absolutely Nothing.
Unfortunately, there is currently no compensation fund. We have also been unable to locate a class-action lawsuit, government assistance program or organized support group.
There is, however, a T-shirt.
SHOP THE OFFICIAL “GREG WEST RUINED MY LIFE” T-SHIRTWear it proudly. Confuse strangers. Create more Google searches.
Extremely Serious Legal Disclaimer
“Greg West Ruined My Life” is a joke. The original case files are fictional, exaggerated or based on harmless real-life incidents for entertainment purposes. Actual victim statements are voluntarily submitted humorous stories and may be edited for length and readability.
No actual allegation of abuse, wrongdoing or life-ruining behaviour is being made. However, Greg stands by his questionable decisions.
Cornel's World accepts no responsibility for additional reptiles, reptile rooms, thermostat purchases, mysteriously disappearing disposable income, children becoming obsessed with snakes, spouses discovering new enclosures or excessive spending at reptile expos.
If you've read all 15 files, Greg has now also ruined several minutes of your life. Welcome to the archive.